Goodbye Ian

Last night Julia took me to hear her friend's band play at the Troubadour here in LA.

I had just gotten off a seemingly endless flight from New York, and for me it was already 1:45 am, so going out wasn't exactly first on my list of things to do, but I figured, I'm in LA to figure out whether I want to live here, so I should try everything, right?

Goodbye Ian was fantastic. There's Doug, the lead singer, an exuberant golden boy. He plays the keyboard and the guitar, although this was stifled somewhat at his announcement that the day before, he had fallen off his skateboard. There's a blissed-out singer (Kerstin?) who also plays electric cello. Another singer/keyboardist/accordian player, a fantastic drummer, a very skilled violinist and an affable bassist.

The music is danceable, the lyrics clever and un-self-conscious.

Definitely check them out if you can!

As I watched the lead singer hop and dance around the stage, I thought to myself - that's what I need to do more of - be free and fearless and musical. That's what ease with oneself an actor needs. Turns out he IS an actor - he's the son on "Big Love."

And that's LA.

Fess up, RC

Remember when you were a little kid and you did something wrong, and then before you knew what was happening, someone caught you? You started to equivocate, tell little white lies, split hairs, change your story. The most obvious thing about your guilt was the way you squirmed in your chair, and your voice went all over the place looking for the exit.

We all know that exit is the truth. The only way to get out of the situation you were in was to accept that you were going to be punished, and then be brave and admit it.

It is really pathetic watching Roger Clemens act like a befuddled little five year-old in front of the Congressional Committee. His guilt is written all over his Good-Old-Boy retellings.

Obama after all

Until the last few hours before the New York primary, I was on the fence. I love Hillary Clinton. I think she's a brilliant, powerful, determined, admirable woman. I think she would make an excellent President. All this false debate about whether she is for change? She has been making important changes in the Senate since she was elected, and before that, she was a pioneer since her early years in college and law school. Her problem is that she's a woman in an extremely misogynist culture. There are countries that we high-minded Americans like to think of as the "third world" where a woman has already held the highest office in the land. But as soon as Hillary wielded the tiniest bit of power alongside Bill, detractors set to work undermining her - the hairstyles, the baking. I'm sure it goes without saying that those things would NEVER have come up if she were male.

So why did I vote for Barack Obama? Unlike all my misty-eyed friends (and I do love you all) I don't actually *like* him that much. He's kind of cocky. But let's face it, he does not inspire the antipathy that Hillary does. The "vast right-wing conspiracy" is no joke - they hate her and they would mortgage their houses to see her go down. Because hating powerful women is still ok, even though we've figured out that racism is wrong.

I look forward to the first Black President. I look forward to the first woman President. I look forward to a time in our country when we will actually be able to tackle the issues that plague us. I voted for Barack in the primary, and I'll vote for either one of them in November. And hopefully we will stop the shameful backslide to the dark ages we've experienced in the last seven years.

Papercut in Memory of Hannah

I made this papercut in memory of Hannah. It's her Hebrew name in the center with a pomegranate below, representing the vast kernels of her diverse soul. And of course vines of life everywhere.

leaving for LA

I've been talking about moving to LA since college, so it might have seemed like an inevitability, but every time I go anywhere, I think I want to move there. (I'm suggestible, would probably be the polite term for my fickle geographical commitments.)

When I got back from Europe and Africa last summer, I didn't think I wanted to live in New York anymore. I had fallen in love in Croatia, wanted to settle down in Berlin or Budapest...I didn't know what was good for me, and I wandered about. Pretty soon after returning home to New York, I met Joe. Then, this past December we traveled to Berlin together and my longings started all over again. I talked his ear off about how badly I wanted to move there. And when we got back to New York, I realized: my love affair is not yet over, I will probably always love New York, but it's time for me to try something new.

This is so difficult. I am leaving an amazing community of friends and the whole life I have built in the last 8 years. But I have to see what is waiting for me in LA - will I be happier there? I hope so.